i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
