when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
