It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
