The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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