Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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