the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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