My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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