yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
