i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
