ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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