TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
