I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize