That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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