She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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