She is in my trunk
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
