By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im holly from the hills drunk
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
