is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
