Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
