apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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