Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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