This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
