The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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