How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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