At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
