I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
