i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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