it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He felt like a one man threesome
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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