I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize