Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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