i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
