How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm just crazy horny about you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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