my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i will never coherently bang her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
