my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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