And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
