She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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