wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
