If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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