I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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