look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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