cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize