Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
