ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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