The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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