i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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