took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
