her vagine was all disorganized.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
