I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Non-Jews are for practice
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
