Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize