Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
