Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
