You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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