We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
