Already got asked if we're dating
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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