That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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