I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this just has baby written all over it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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