I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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