god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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