I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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